A Wonderer’s Guide to a Successful Life

**The Story of What Shaped My Attitude Toward Money**

When I was growing up, I didn’t realize that my parents didn’t have money. For a while, it seemed like everything was just fine. But looking back now, the signs were always there. My dad got laid off regularly, a pattern that seemed almost inevitable. I recall my mom struggling to pay the bills, often crying while she did it. There was always more month left when the money ran out.

My mom ran a child daycare out of the house, and she often took on a second evening job. Sometimes it was at Straw Hat Pizza, other times at a record store. My dad, bless him, did not handle money well. It just seemed to slip through his hands like water. The awareness that my parents were struggling financially started to dawn on me when I was about 10.

Dad was always chasing get-rich-quick schemes. For a while, he had a second job as a janitor for a carpet cleaning company. I would tag along to help. I remember everyone in the office smoked, and my job was to clean the ashtrays and empty the trash cans. On the ride to and from the carpet cleaning place, my dad would share his dreams of wealth and the latest money-making scheme he had bought into.

But the reality was harsh. Dad got laid off so often, and the schemes cost more money than they made. His spirit was broken. So, Mom had to step up and carry the family of four kids. We were on food stamps and free school lunches while I was in middle school. The strain on my parents eventually led to their divorce, and Mom had to refinance the house to buy out Dad’s portion.

I vividly remember my mom’s shock when they did their last tax return together. The tax preparer asked if there were any investment gains or losses, and to my mom’s surprise, Dad had already lost his portion of the house payout chasing some commodities scheme. It was a harsh lesson.

Dad called me once to ask if I wanted to take over paying for some money-making newsletter. Since Dad hadn’t made any money from it, I refused. Another time, he called saying God told him to ask me about some investment scheme. I replied that if it was good, the hedge funds would have automated it, so it would be computers trading ahead of you to take your money.

These experiences shaped my attitude toward money in profound ways. I learned to pay myself first by putting money into savings. My cars were quickly paid off and driven over 100,000 miles until it was a case of “check the gas, fill the oil.” I set my investments up to pay me so I wouldn’t have to liquidate anything if I lost my job.

I made sure to pay for both Kristina and Alec’s college education to ensure they started adulting with no debt. The habit of saving money became so ingrained in me that if anyone wanted to talk about money, I became that 10-year-old boy watching my parents struggle. I swore to myself to never be without a safety net.

These experiences, as tough as they were, taught me invaluable lessons about financial responsibility, resilience, and the importance of a safety net. They shaped my attitude toward money and ensured that I would never find myself in the same situation.